I have been a little slack this week. Unfortunately, both of my grandmothers and one of my husband's grandmothers are very ill in hospital. I feel so blessed to have the influence of such amazing women in my life and I sincerely pray that they will pull through.
Anyway, I have had many opportunities to feed in public. With so much going on I have not had the time to worry or be anxious about the feelings of others, I have just had to do what I have to do.
I breastfed in front of my grandmother when visiting her in hospital. It was a little nerve wracking as I don't like to make the older generation uncomfortable. However, I know that my grandmother breastfed her five children. She likes to tell a story of ducking behind a bush to tandem feed the first two. Even now I wonder what the reaction would be to tandem feeding siblings like this.
I also finally breastfed in church. I was late. It was mothers day so the church was heaving. Baby was squarking and drawing far too much attention to us. I felt happier having had the opportunity to discuss the issue with the vicar so I knew it was not innapropriate. It worked as a lovely mute button for baby. Anyway, under all my wintery layers it was unlikely you could see a thing.
I also sort of breastfed in front of my father-in-law. I accomapnied him when he took my son swimming. As I waited for them I was feeding my daughter and I got too hot and uncomfortable. Knowing there was nothing to see anyway I took off the scarf I had over my shoulder.
So, I am becomeing more comfortable with breastfeeding in front of others. But, as I do so I am beginning to ask much bigger questions. Why does it matter if people breastfeed? Why does it matter to me? Why is there an issue with breastfeeding in public? Some of these have seemingly easy answers, but I think that it may run much deeper than we like to think. As I start to make sense of these questions I will try to blog about them.
In the meantime, please include my grandmothers in your prayers.