So it's been a bit quiet on this blog because I am working my freaking socks off in my actual job. I'm back, part time (so amazing).
I was very apprehensive about my return but it has been wonderfully smooth. The main thing is that the kids are OK. My son is loving being back at nursery and the only sign of any disruption is a slight backward step in his potty training. My daughter seemingly has been quite happy and has slept in my absence, which, given that I breastfeed her to sleep, is quite a shock.
Expressing at work is weird. I've never had to do it before. Firstly, I was quite fussy about where to express. This is largely because I am a teacher - I have to know that I am secure. I cannot tell you how horrified I would be to have a pupil in any way aware of what I was up to. So, I needed a maximum security room, which I have. But then comes the issues with the deed itself. It's a bit weird to be getting my boobs out at work. It's also hard to express well when I am anxious about the noises of the pupils running around outside and bashing into the door even though I know I am safe. Plus their noise is distracting. It takes a while for the milk to flow and I'm not surprised. I worry about the noise. I know it's only a quiet click and there would be nobody that would even care enough to even waste their time worrying about what was going on within the room, but it still makes me nervous.
It is lovely to spend a few minutes of my day doing something for my baby girl. To have an enforced pause in my chaotic and busy day. I am going to have to be strict with myself about finding the time.
Wandering around with my milk extraction kit is uncomfortable too. I have squirrelled my manual pump in a lunchbox and am praying nobody ever looks in it. My sister in law has lent me her electric pump (yeah, sharing pumps, whatever we don't care) and I have yet to figure out how to hide it as I make my way from the staff room to my room of expression to the fridge.
I can see that I won't keep this up. I'm not surprised that women who exclusively express sometimes struggle with it. But then I've never been a fan of expressing. I am quite happy breastfeeding in front of my family, but expressing...no. It's....undignified. Or at least that's how it feels. I suppose in the fullness of time I may give my daughter cows milk. I don't need to pump for supply reasons - I am only at work 3 days a week and supply was never a big issue for me. In fact my milk never even went away after I stopped breastfeeding.
So this is a new development in my public breastfeeding adventures - expressing outside of my home...expect more musings :)